Chapter Seven
There on the front porch were 12 batches of cookies, each batch on a paper doily lined plate, and each one tagged with a hand-written Bible passage.
“There is no way Seth had time to do this! He’s been with me.”
Gertie spoke these words aloud as she gathered and stacked the plates to move them inside. The slips of paper were attached to the plates with string as if it somehow mattered which particular cookies they were on.
“Peculiar.”
She unlocked the door and carried the plates into the dining room table which had not been used since the invention of the TV tray. The table had been handed down from her great-grandmother and was large and round, a lovely dark mahogany. It was made when families were larger and an infinite number of people sat around it. Unless, that is, you were like Gertie and loathed being physically close to anyone.
She stopped to let Rasputin in and give him some food and water. He almost always made her feel grateful to have something in her life which didn’t torment her.
She moseyed back to the table and spread the plates in a circle as if setting places for 12 guests and studied them, beginning at the plate of snicker doodles in the one o’clock position. She noted an interesting peculiarity—certain words were underlined. She read each scripture and then read just the underlined words the second time through. A sick feeling wormed its way into the pit of her stomach as she perused through them.
Matthew 24:43: But know this, that if the good man (or evil woman) of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched and would not have suffered his (or her) house to be broken up.
“Creepy. What do you think, Rasputin? It almost seems like someone is trying to tell me something.”
She moved on to the two o’clock plate of chocolate chip cookies.
Judges 12:13: And the angel of the Lord said unto Manoah, Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware.
And the peanut butter at three o’clock.
1 Corinthians 4:14: I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.
In the four o’clock place was a plate of lemon bars.
Matthew 3:7: But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?
At five o’clock, brownies.
Isaiah 52:11: Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord.
At six o’clock, oatmeal raisin.
Psalms 101:8: I will early destroy all the wicked of the land; that I may cut off all wicked doers from the city of the Lord.
At seven o’clock, gobs, her personal favorite.
Psalms 82:4: Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.
The eight o’clock plate of pecan shortbread read:
1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him (or her) depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
At nine o’clock, no-bakes.
Proverbs 6:24: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Ten o’clock offered up blondies.
Luke 8:2: And certain women (woman), which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,
At eleven o’clock, jelly filled walnut thumbprints.
Job 2:10: But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.
Finally, when she arrived at twelve o’clock, the sugar cookies, she read:
Matthew 5: 32: I came not to call the righteous, but the sinners to repentance.
Just as she finished reading, the phone rang, startling her so much, she jumped and screamed before she had a chance to read the scripture.
“What is it?”
“Gertie, it’s Seth.”
“What in the heck do you want?”
“What is wrong with you . . . and don’t use foul language when you speak to me, please.”
Gertie took a moment to compose herself.
“I’m sorry, Seth, something weird is going on and I’m just a little jumpy.”
“You? Jumpy? What on earth?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when I meet you.”
“Precisely why I’m calling. Delilah just called and Wainwright had a cancellation. He can see us right now. I’m pulling into your driveway.”
“I’ll be right out!”
Gertie slammed the receiver down, relieved to vacate the house which hosted an unnerving sort of mystery. She climbed into the front seat next to Seth.
“So what’s going on?”
“I don’t even know if I can talk about it to you. You are the likely suspect in this foul act perpetrated against me.”
“Ms. Thump, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, well, I might as well tell you. Someone left twelve batches of cookies with scriptures attached to them, just like you bring, except these were threatening to me. These scriptures were written in the most cryptic and evil manipulation of your Bible. Whoever did this underlined certain words to let me know I should be, afraid. You were with me this morning, but maybe you schemed this all up last night and had someone else do the delivering of this wolf-like warning in sheep-like clothing. Where exactly where were you last night?”
“You’re not serious, I hope?”
“All I know is someone is making some serious threats and you have to admit, it looks just like what you try to bring me all the time. Why shouldn’t you be my prime suspect?”
“Who is this in the car with you? Who is taking time off from sermon-writing and family time to try and help you? Who are we talking about? Oh, yea, it’s me, Seth Randall! Besides which, I’ve been with you most of the day. That should tell you something.”
“Oh, fine! What am I supposed to think? This just has me all shook up and I don’t think I have to remind you how much it takes to do that!”
There on the front porch were 12 batches of cookies, each batch on a paper doily lined plate, and each one tagged with a hand-written Bible passage.
“There is no way Seth had time to do this! He’s been with me.”
Gertie spoke these words aloud as she gathered and stacked the plates to move them inside. The slips of paper were attached to the plates with string as if it somehow mattered which particular cookies they were on.
“Peculiar.”
She unlocked the door and carried the plates into the dining room table which had not been used since the invention of the TV tray. The table had been handed down from her great-grandmother and was large and round, a lovely dark mahogany. It was made when families were larger and an infinite number of people sat around it. Unless, that is, you were like Gertie and loathed being physically close to anyone.
She stopped to let Rasputin in and give him some food and water. He almost always made her feel grateful to have something in her life which didn’t torment her.
She moseyed back to the table and spread the plates in a circle as if setting places for 12 guests and studied them, beginning at the plate of snicker doodles in the one o’clock position. She noted an interesting peculiarity—certain words were underlined. She read each scripture and then read just the underlined words the second time through. A sick feeling wormed its way into the pit of her stomach as she perused through them.
Matthew 24:43: But know this, that if the good man (or evil woman) of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched and would not have suffered his (or her) house to be broken up.
“Creepy. What do you think, Rasputin? It almost seems like someone is trying to tell me something.”
She moved on to the two o’clock plate of chocolate chip cookies.
Judges 12:13: And the angel of the Lord said unto Manoah, Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware.
And the peanut butter at three o’clock.
1 Corinthians 4:14: I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.
In the four o’clock place was a plate of lemon bars.
Matthew 3:7: But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?
At five o’clock, brownies.
Isaiah 52:11: Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord.
At six o’clock, oatmeal raisin.
Psalms 101:8: I will early destroy all the wicked of the land; that I may cut off all wicked doers from the city of the Lord.
At seven o’clock, gobs, her personal favorite.
Psalms 82:4: Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.
The eight o’clock plate of pecan shortbread read:
1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him (or her) depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
At nine o’clock, no-bakes.
Proverbs 6:24: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Ten o’clock offered up blondies.
Luke 8:2: And certain women (woman), which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,
At eleven o’clock, jelly filled walnut thumbprints.
Job 2:10: But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.
Finally, when she arrived at twelve o’clock, the sugar cookies, she read:
Matthew 5: 32: I came not to call the righteous, but the sinners to repentance.
Just as she finished reading, the phone rang, startling her so much, she jumped and screamed before she had a chance to read the scripture.
“What is it?”
“Gertie, it’s Seth.”
“What in the heck do you want?”
“What is wrong with you . . . and don’t use foul language when you speak to me, please.”
Gertie took a moment to compose herself.
“I’m sorry, Seth, something weird is going on and I’m just a little jumpy.”
“You? Jumpy? What on earth?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when I meet you.”
“Precisely why I’m calling. Delilah just called and Wainwright had a cancellation. He can see us right now. I’m pulling into your driveway.”
“I’ll be right out!”
Gertie slammed the receiver down, relieved to vacate the house which hosted an unnerving sort of mystery. She climbed into the front seat next to Seth.
“So what’s going on?”
“I don’t even know if I can talk about it to you. You are the likely suspect in this foul act perpetrated against me.”
“Ms. Thump, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, well, I might as well tell you. Someone left twelve batches of cookies with scriptures attached to them, just like you bring, except these were threatening to me. These scriptures were written in the most cryptic and evil manipulation of your Bible. Whoever did this underlined certain words to let me know I should be, afraid. You were with me this morning, but maybe you schemed this all up last night and had someone else do the delivering of this wolf-like warning in sheep-like clothing. Where exactly where were you last night?”
“You’re not serious, I hope?”
“All I know is someone is making some serious threats and you have to admit, it looks just like what you try to bring me all the time. Why shouldn’t you be my prime suspect?”
“Who is this in the car with you? Who is taking time off from sermon-writing and family time to try and help you? Who are we talking about? Oh, yea, it’s me, Seth Randall! Besides which, I’ve been with you most of the day. That should tell you something.”
“Oh, fine! What am I supposed to think? This just has me all shook up and I don’t think I have to remind you how much it takes to do that!”