Let's examine, shall we?
THE TOP TEN GOOD:
- I pretty much set my own hours;
- I can sleep with the light on. Well, I can't really. But I could if I wanted to;
- I can squeeze the toothpaste from the middle;
- I eat the way I like to eat and don't have to prepare carnage every night;
- I own the remote;
- I decide what movies to watch;
- I decide what to buy and pay the bills the way I think they need paid;
- I can say "yes" or "no" on the spot without consulting anyone;
- I can have whatever pets I want;
- There aren't any major squabbles or shouting matches (except when the stupid felines ignore me when I ask them to bring me a towel).
THE TOP 10 BAD:
- There is no one to fuss at me when I stay up too late;
- When I roll over in bed, there is no one to wrap around;
- I am responsible for all the bills;
- I don't hear the sound of man laughter;
- I have to open my own jars;
- Things don't get regular maintenance: smoke detectors, oil in car, etc.
- I miss kissing;
- I have to do all the driving on a trip;
- The cats pretty much ignore me when I share exciting news;
- There is no one to do nice things for.
THE BOTTOM 10 UGLY (HERE'S WHERE IT GETS A LITTLE TOO REAL):
- I don't shave my legs nearly enough;
- I often talk to myself and sometimes forget that I'm in public when I do so;
- I sometimes stay up way too late because I know that there is no warm body in bed waiting for me;
- I have to hold my own hair when I throw up;
- I listen to "At Seventeen" a little too often;
- When I pass the popcorn, there is no one to grab it and it winds up all over the floor;
- The cats give me really poor feedback on my writing ideas;
- I'm lying when I tell a telemarketer, "Let me check with my husband and call you back."
- It's my fault when things don't get done;
- I have no one to blame but myself.