So far the votes show that you'd like to see human interest and jokes du jour the most, so this is my offering for today. Happy Sabbath to you all!
This panda walks into a saloon and says to the bartender, "Make me an egg salad sandwich."
The barkeep obliges him and serves up the sandwich, which the panda greedily gobbles down. Then, without a word, the panda pulls out a gun and quickly turns and shoots the piano player. He turns to walk out of the saloon and the bartender says, "Hey, wait a minute, buddy. You didn't pay for that sandwich!"
The panda looks him square in the eye and says, "I'm a panda. Look it up!" and leaves.
The bartender scrambles around and finally finds an old dusty encyclopedia laying around. He looks up panda and reads out loud, "Large Asian marsupial. Eats shoots and leaves."
The barkeep obliges him and serves up the sandwich, which the panda greedily gobbles down. Then, without a word, the panda pulls out a gun and quickly turns and shoots the piano player. He turns to walk out of the saloon and the bartender says, "Hey, wait a minute, buddy. You didn't pay for that sandwich!"
The panda looks him square in the eye and says, "I'm a panda. Look it up!" and leaves.
The bartender scrambles around and finally finds an old dusty encyclopedia laying around. He looks up panda and reads out loud, "Large Asian marsupial. Eats shoots and leaves."
The great French philosopher, Rene Descartes, walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, can I pour you something?" Descartes snootily replies, "I think not!" and then he disappears.
Two pretty girl ostriches were strolling down a beach when one of them turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! Don't look now, but I think we're being followed by two boy ostriches!"
Her friend panics and whispers, "Oh, dear! What should we do?"
She replied, "Maybe if we stick our heads in the sand, they won't see us!"
So they did.
One of the boy ostriches turns to the other and asks, "Hey, where did they go?"
Her friend panics and whispers, "Oh, dear! What should we do?"
She replied, "Maybe if we stick our heads in the sand, they won't see us!"
So they did.
One of the boy ostriches turns to the other and asks, "Hey, where did they go?"